On Starting Over

in honor of the new year - let’s get rid of the stigma around “starting over”.

It’s common to feel that starting over is a regression or a failure, but I think it’s quite the opposite. Time and time again, we end up choosing what is familiar instead of what is uncomfortable or uncertain because we’re afraid to start over. Familiarity is what makes us feel safe, but it’s also what keeps us stuck. It’s what keeps us living a life half-lived. Starting over does not come without fear, doubt, and second-guessing, but that’s just the unknown talking.

We are never going to want to start over, but sometimes we need to when we don’t want to, when we didn’t plan on it, when we don’t think it’s fair, when we think we’ve already started over more times than we should have at this point in our life.

But starting over, doing things differently, trusting yourself, putting one foot in front of the other when you have no idea where those steps are taking you – will lead to your greatest success, proudest accomplishment, true love, and unprecedented happiness.

open up to possibilities.

There are so many possibilities for our life—for love, for work, for growth. Sometimes we only choose to see some of the possibilities. We tell ourselves there was only one choice, or no choice, or that something had to be done in a particular way. We neglect to see the other options – the choices that would lead to genuine happiness, love, or success - because we’re afraid to start over and pursue the unknown or to take the divergent path. 

starting from experience, not from scratch.

Don’t view it as wasted time because, chances are, you’ve learned a lesson or two along the way, so you’re starting from experience, not from scratch. But it’s important not to show up in the new situation exactly the same way that we showed up in the last one. Use the lessons learned to try again differently.

What if it all works out?

We come up with a million reasons to stay stuck, but those reasons are just excuses. “I’m not ready”. No one is ever ready. Being ready is simply a decision to take action toward the thing you want. “What will people think of me? What if it doesn’t work? What if I fail?” Instead, ask yourself “What if it does work out? What if I do succeed?” Quiet the “what if’s” in your mind and listen to the voice that’s cheering you on, even if it’s just a whisper at this point.

Nothing changes unless you decide to make a change.

So here is your permission to start over. Don’t compromise or settle for less because you’re afraid to start over. You haven’t failed. It’s not “too late”. You’re not “behind”. Change your perspective around starting over and enjoy the exciting adventure that lies ahead.

I promise you that if you can find the courage to take the leap, to try again differently, and to follow your inner guidance - something much better is waiting for you on the other side. Your only regret will probably be that you didn’t do it sooner.